JUDGES MISHEGAS

there's the judge that is always kvetching from the bench (how this friend owes him money and won't pay him; how a contractor screwed him; how you can't trust people anymore - this is during jury selection).
then there are the jurists who:
go crazy when you walk into the "well"*;
go crazy when you "approach a witness" without asking "may I approach the witness?";
go crazy when you ask "may I approach the witness?" and yell at you for asking;
go crazy when you call them "judge" instead of "Your Honor";
go crazy when you wear a sweater that obscures your tie and they think you're trying to pull a fast one and not wear a tie in court;
go crazy when you don't stand up when you address** "the court".



*area in front of the judge's bench - where His Excellency sits
**you never talk to a judge - you always "address the court"