Thursday, August 20, 2009


When I started the case the grandma of my client gave me a big bear hug cause she was so happy I was on her grandson's case and I was so much better than the prior lawyer.

In the middle of the case she's yelling at me as I leave the courtroom - basically a flow of obsenities leading up to the conclusion "you're railroading my grandson!!".

When the case ends and miraculously her grandson is getting released from custody and I'm leaving court, she's waiting for me outside the courtroom with her arms wide open -looks like another hug. I turn back and sneek out the back of the courtroom. Fuck her hugs.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Remember in Lawrence of Arabia when he goes back across the desert they have just crossed to rescue his Arab buddy who fell off his camel and Omar Sharif tells Lawrence not to bother cause "IT IS WRITTEN" (that the guy is toast) and Lawrence being the kind of guy he is goes back into the desert and rescues his bud (could it have been Anthony Quayle?) and says to Omar "IT IS NOT WRITTEN, ALI, NOTHING IS WRITTEN"? Well the same thing (almost same thing) happened to me in court the other day.
My guy's in custody in court for a probation violation. According to the probation officer's report; he hadn't reported regularly; he hadn't done his CalTrans he was ordered to do and a bunch of other stuff including he'd been arrested for something else (although that was dismissed). But it was the second time he'd had a probation violation and he was surely going to get sentenced to state prison for three years because that was what he had hanging over his head when he originally was placed on probation - a "Joint Suspended" sentence (nothing to do with mutton)- that is three years state prison suspended over his head if he fucked up on probation - which he did.
The Judge says he's gonna give him the three years. But before that the guy has to be found in violation and he's entitled to a Hearing (which is usually the judge reading the probation officer's report)and then finding the guy in violation and then sentencing him. Boom, boom.
Usually in these situations the probationer will admit the violation and take the time. Everybody is trying to persuade the guy to admit the violation because otherwise there's got to be a hearing and he has no chance and he's gonna end up with the three years no matter what - which is what his previous lawyer said too - and then the DA joins in telling him to just admit the violation so he can move on cause he's getting the three years no matter what - IT IS WRITTEN.
The guy insists on the hearing. He gets his opportunity to actually talk to the judge, giving his side of things. And the judge actually listens to this guy's explanations for not doing the probation conditions. I don't know if it was the water or what but this tough guy judge liked the guy's rap and put him back on probation and he's released from custody.
Of course with Lawrence, he later in the film ends up having to personally execute his buddy that he rescued, (for killing one of Omar's men) so I guess that was written.
We shall see if this probationer comes back for another violation and gets his three years to find out definitively if IT IS TRULY WRITTEN.

Friday, August 7, 2009

girls girls girls

I'm going to write three line novels of each.


Judge says something I don't understand. Heard the words but I couldn't understand what it meant. Something about procedure. She's getting impatient with me because I don't understand. The DA walks over to me and whispers in my ear. "I don't understand what she's talking about either."