JULY 17TH - Performance - Save the Santa Monica Playouse

REDACT

One of those words I can never remember. I always have to use it too. Because there's always something that needs "redacting" - always - your guy's statement - a crimey's statement - a witness. Hate it when my client tells me the word. I'm the goddamn lawyer I know the word - it just takes me a while to get it out.

I'M A CRIMINAL

last night I had a dream. I did an armed robbery using my antique WWII M-1. Immediately caught I was in a police car and the cop said - "If you tell me what happened I'll give you a break. I know that this was a one time thing and you're not a criminal." In my show - IT'S CRIMINAL the comedy - I do a bit based on my experiences as a criminal defense lawyer about my clients confessing at the drop of a hat. It amazes me they listen to the cops horseshit they use about helping them out etc. In my dream, that's just what happens - the cop says to me - "if you tell me what happened I'll be able to help you out." I think what the hell - and confess. The next thing that happens is I'm in jail and I'm wondering if there is any possible way to escape and how I can case the joint out without the guards knowing that I'm thinking about escaping. And I'm scared.