I'M A CRIMINAL

last night I had a dream. I did an armed robbery using my antique WWII M-1. Immediately caught I was in a police car and the cop said - "If you tell me what happened I'll give you a break. I know that this was a one time thing and you're not a criminal." In my show - IT'S CRIMINAL the comedy - I do a bit based on my experiences as a criminal defense lawyer about my clients confessing at the drop of a hat. It amazes me they listen to the cops horseshit they use about helping them out etc. In my dream, that's just what happens - the cop says to me - "if you tell me what happened I'll be able to help you out." I think what the hell - and confess. The next thing that happens is I'm in jail and I'm wondering if there is any possible way to escape and how I can case the joint out without the guards knowing that I'm thinking about escaping. And I'm scared.

a win is a win is a win

When a win is a win – oh how I wish I could have that look on a win. It’s got to be someone you know is innocent. What are the chances of that? That’s a lot of pressure on a person. And then you gotta, gotta, get the not guilty verdict. Then you can have the same look of shock, relief, gratitude as Johnny Cochrane. Except I could never get myself to believe that Johnny thought OJ was innocent. Maybe he did? I just got a hung jury on a murder & attempted murder, unfortunately the jury found my client guilty on another murder. So I didn't have the same look as Johnny had after his verdict.
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