WHAT DO YOU CALL 8 JUDGES STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR

As I'm leaving the Criminal Courts for lunch a deputy sheriff with glee in his voice shouts "Did you hear there are 8 judges stuck in the elevator!" Wow.

PHILOSOPHICAL MUSINGS IN COURT

i'm sitting in court and hear this exchange. "Well Mr. so & so if you want to go )pro per (be your own lawyer)you'll be going up against someone who has been to college and then law school and is a tremendously experienced prosecutor. Do you think you can handle that?" "Yes your honor." "Well Mr. so & so - do you even know if the crime you are charged with committing, manslaughter is a general intent or specific intent crime?" Mr. So & So waits a long time. I'm thinking. I don't know the answer. I don't think the judge knows the answer - in fact God doesn't know the answer because nobody knows the answer. That's my position.

SHOUT OUT TO JUSTICE FACTOR

Hey dog!

elevators at the ccb

i'm on the elevator today in the ccb (folz justice center) and there's this young man wearing a suit and an enormous badge announcing he's with the DA's office who gets on and he's whistling. Not absent-mindedly - like people do but he's whistling like he's performing a symphony. We're not alone on the elevator. There's a couple of jurors and a couple of "clients" (could be anybody but they're not lawyers I can tell you that). I'm uncomfortable. People just don't whistle once they get on the elevator. His badge says he's with the DA's office. On the fifth floor a public defender gets on. The whistler continues. The PD shakes his head. the young DA stops whistling and as I get off the elevator says "whistling not allowed on the elevators?" This is a real question I'm sure. I turn and say "no, no whistling on the elevator."

CHRISTMAS TALE 10

The elevator comes and Arthur goes silent. We walk out the front doors of the CCB. "So tell me what happened Arthur?" Arthur shrugs. "What do you think? The jury came back, guilty, murder in the first degree. They were out for every one of 15 minutes. They were not persuaded by Imelda at all. They knew Joker was the murderer. Could I blame them? Let’s go over to the Cathedral – I’ll buy you a coffee.” With my money – but what the hell my car is parked there anyway. At the Cathedral Arthur gets the coffees and a couple of donuts which he devours in a heartbeat. “The next day I get a call from a Father Walter Jacoby. He’s one of the priests at the church where Joker’s daughter’s baptism took place. It’s urgent that we meet, he says, could I come over to the church and talk to him? When was the last time I was inside a Roman Catholic Church with a priest? I’ll tell you, boychik, never. By the time I arrive, Father Walter is a nervous wreck. He's got to confess to someone, he says, even if it's a lawyer. He tells me how he had lied to my investigator when he had been interviewed. Father Walter had actually seen Joker that Christmas day on the steps outside the church door enjoying a cigarette. Father Walter, a secret smoker, had gone outside for a quick smoke, while Imelda and the baby were waiting for him to do the baptism. The priest wanted to make everything right because he was sure that Joker could not have done it. I wasn't too sure that we could do anything about it. It's not like it was DNA which is the only thing anybody believes in these days. And I don't believe in miracles do I? What’s truly miraculous about this is that the DA and the cops actually took this new evidence seriously. They believed this priest.
Even gave him a lie detector test. They convinced themselves that Joker was not there doing the killing that Christmas Day. The wrong guy. Because Joker hadn’t been sentenced yet there was still time to rectify this situation where justice had not prevailed, according to the DA. She scheduled a motion to dismiss the case notwithstanding the jury's verdict. I called Joker's parents to tell them the good news. Joker's sister answered the phone. She didn't even let me tell her the news. ‘Somebody stabbed him in jail. He’s dead.’ It could have been retaliation for the murder he was accused of or retaliation for another gang activity or something entirely unrelated. There were never any arrests made. It all happened on Christmas."

CHRISTMAS TALE 9

"Imelda took the stand. She was spectacular. I believed every word she said. Joker, her husband, mistreated her; Joker was a miserable human being; she hoped she'd never have to see him again; she hoped her daughter would never have to see him either. In fact, Imelda prayed every day that her husband never would be released from jail. And, then I asked her about Joker's whereabouts on Christmas Day. She reluctantly produced the baptismal certificate with the date of the murder and the baptism - Christmas Day. She said her husband indeed had been with her at the Church on at exactly the same time as the killing took place. This is what I refer to, boychik, as an excellent alibi witness. Joker kept on making comments to me during her entire testimony - 'why'd you put her up there? she's a whore. she doing favors for you old man?' I tried to explain to him that she was probably saving him from spending the rest of his life in prison but somehow he didn't seem to appreciate this.
Imelda survived cross admirably. She more than survived, she was triumphant. How can you effectively cross examine the truth? That's what I say. We argued to the jury and the jury went out to deliberate."

CHRISTMAS TALE 8

The Judge banged his gavel and simultaneously jumped off the bench. Court's done, finally. But Arthur is still going on. I'm trying to be polite, I love Arthur, but I want to get outta there. "Arthur..." I try to make him aware that we're the only ones left in the entire courtroom. Arthur doesn't get it. He keeps on telling me the story. "And then the civilian - Hector Gutierrez - I must say I made mince meat of him. He actually got huffy with me when I put it to him that that the view from his window was obstructed behind bars and trees." "Arthur I gotta go." I blurted this out. He looked at me like I had stabbed him in the abdomen. "I thought you wanted to hear the story?" "I do Arthur but they're closing the courtroom." He looked around and seemed to recognize the truth of what I had just said. He frowned with disapproval. He got up out of his chair with a major league grunt. Then his face brightened like he had come up with a solution to a major dilemma. "Okay boychick I'll finish the story on the way out." And he continued talking as I gathered up my stuff and we left the courtroom and went towards the elevators. It was a good strategy on Arthur's part because those CCB elevators can take a very long time to arrive.