Yeah Baby!

For some reason this Judge is giving it to this young cocky DA at a preliminary hearing. I say, giving it to him because being stupid and cocky in a DA doesn't usually get you in trouble with a Judge. But there must have been some bad shit between these two. Because she really got on his tail. She interrupts him as he questions his witness - in a voice like she was talking to a 4th grader – "Mr. So & So – look at the jury instructions before you present your case so you’ll know the elements you have to prove. I am tired of having to do your job for you." Man she was mad. And my client's boyfriend lets out a whoop from the audience. One for the oppressed yeah! He's thrown out of court. I have to say I enjoyed it too. As long as it wasn’t me. And then, of course, the Judge held my client to "answer"* and put her in jail.



*answer enough evidence to hold defendant for trial.

THE BIRDS DO IT THE BEES DO IT EVEN CLARENCE DARROW DID IT

Sometimes I wish I was a DA. I look with envy on their lot. (well except for those in the welfare fraud division who have to prosecute poor people in wheelchairs for being a little greedy with the dole) The reason I envy DA's is that they have such an easy time of it in trials. All they gotta do is show the jury what my guy (the defendant) did and they'll usually get a conviction. It's really as easy as all that. They don't have to come up with arguments like this:
defendant is accused of threatening a witness to a crime to dissuade the witness from testifying (this is a crime in itself - PC 136).
Defendant says: "snitches die with stitches."
The argument: "This was not a threat, it was simply an observation."
Now I didn't make this pathetically strained argument. I heard another lawyer do it. He obviously had nothing else. The joke is if it came down to it I'd probably make this argument too, if I had nothing else. I know this because I've made them. Shudder. Probably some of them worked. Hallelujah!

DAistic - i've just coined it - it means - "Oh I represent the PEOPLE and I'm one step from heaven."

In court to set trial date on a case with over 20 robbery counts. It's a new DA on the case. She asks me for my card. I give it to her. "What's your cell number?" she says. I give it to her. "What's your cell number?" I innocently ask. She looks at me a little surprised. "Oh I can't give you that."
These are the important moments in the CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM