CHRISTMAS TALE 3

Arthur stuffed a whole donut in his mouth as he explained his case. "The worst part of it was Joker had an alibi."
I grabbed one of Arthur’s donuts before he could get to it.
“He was at his daughter’s baptism at a Roman Catholic Church in El Sereno at the exact moment that Boxer was being gunned down.”
It hit me now was the moment for me to get out of div 30 otherwise I'd be trapped with Arthur's story. He takes his cases and his stories so personally. I quickly excuse myself to approach one of the court clerks. I ask her if the Judge might let me out of there early cause I could see that nothing was happening this Christmas Eve. She shook her head like everybody in the universe had just been asking the same question. “There’s another bus on its way from jail!” I go back to our desk by the front door. Arthur hasn’t moved.
“You took my donut” he says like he just noticed.
“I thought it was for me.”
“If you wanted one I would’ve gotten one for you. Now the snack bar’s closed.”
“Sorry.”
“You should be.”
“Okay, okay, so what about the wits for your guy's alibi?”
“Exactly – the witnesses. You’ve got to understand that Mr. Beltran’s former attorney - the one he neglected to pay, thus giving me the opportunity of representing Mr. Beltran, had already done some preliminary investigation of this alibi. Evidently the only person on earth who could remember and corroborate Joker’s story was Joker’s wife. You look at me askance – yes Joker had a wife. She insisted on showing me the marriage certificate when she came to my office. She was quite the pretty little thing.” And then Arthur kind of got lost in the haze of memory.

CHRISTMAS TALE 2

I had to admit – two girls on the floor of a Taco Bell in East LA trying to kill each other on Christmas Eve?  Arthur knew he had me.

“The young gentlemen accompanying them simply stood around watching the girls fight. When it started getting bloody and it looked like the cops were coming the fellows pulled the girls apart and left.  One of the girls and some of the fellows ended up at a Christmas Even party at the girl's house.  It was at this party hours later in the early morning of Christmas day that two sweet lads with 9mm guns showed up and started shooting at the people standing outside the house. Two members in good standing of the Stanley Park gang were killed. Since the other girl at the Taco Bell brawl was "associated” with the Tatlow gang it was assumed that it was Tatlow that did the deed. Although these are two different gangs, Stanley Park and Tatlow, these people all grew up together in the same neighborhood, went to the same schools, they even intermarried even though some were Stanley Park and some Tatlow.  Just like the Cabots and the Lodges.”

It’s beginning to dawn on me that this is going to be a long and complicated story so I ask Arthur where he comes in.

“Boychik I’m getting there. My guy isn’t even involved yet. It’s the retaliation homicide that gets me into this.  That very afternoon on Christmas day it takes place,  can you imagine,  Christmas yet? You know I'm in desperate need for a donut – give me a couple of bucks I don’t seem to have any change on me.”

Arthur is famous for being broke – very broke – as in having the IRS hounding him – due to his apparent longstanding problem with gambling and losing, on the horses. I give him a five dollar bill and off he goes to the snack bar. When he comes back with two donuts and a coffee he settles down and continues.

“A young man by the name of Boxer, a member in good standing of the Tatlow outfit, is gunned down that very afternoon while washing his car in front of his apartment. Not only gunned down but kicked and spat upon by his assailants and I might as well tell you now that I happened to be the lucky attorney to be appointed to represent one of these alleged assailants, allegedly a member of the Stanley Park gang. My client, Angel Beltran, aka Joker, had been identified, through photographs, by the girlfriend of said victim, Boxer. This girlfriend claimed to have seen the entire incident.. My client, Joker, was also identified through photographs, as well, by a Hector Guttierrez, a security guard by trade, who observed the crime from his window.”

I tell Arthur that it looks bad - that's all he was waiting for.

"Looks bad?  It was hopeless.  And on top of that my client was an extremely unpleasant young man with the Mark of Cain on his brow.  I might add he also had several tattoos on the same brow.   Looks bad?   I should say so." 

A CHRISTMAS TALE

I’m sitting in div 30 at the CCB doing my duty the other afternoon.  Extremely slow being just before Christmas (because people are more circumspect about committing crimes or the cops aren’t making the arrests or the DA’s aren’t filing – don’t know) but I’m so bored – looking at my phone waiting for it to ring – then Arthur Famish appears.  Arthur (he’s a guy you never call Artie or Art by the way) is what I call an old timer. A criminal lawyer for over 50 years.  Everybody knows Arthur.  A big man who wears a ratty old vest with a ratty old suit that’s several sizes too small and holes in his pants like they were designer jeans.  Arthur knows the law like nobody I know.  He knows everything.  And Arthur always has a story. “I ever tell you about my Christmas homicide?” 

I don’t know if I want to listen to a long story.  He insists – “this is a real Christmas tale I’m telling you.”  He pulls his chair up close to me.  I remind him that neither one of us celebrates Christmas.  “What are you so busy?  Don’t be such a kvetch – you’ll love this. The police report starts out with this really nasty fight between two Latina girls – they’re trying to kill each other – they’re on the floor they’re biting, kicking, punching, pulling hair.  It’s brutal.  On Christmas Eve can you imagine?  At some Taco Bell in East LA.  Now isn’t that a great start to a Christmas tale?" 

Phil Spector II's losing me

okay I admit it the Spector trial has even kind of lost me. I dragged myself downstairs to the 9th floor yesterday out of a sense of duty? and sat for a dull twenty minutes as the DA Jackson questioned one of his witnesses - (the photographer who later on had a car accident and had to have reconstructive surgery on her face) This is the woman who Phil pulled a gun on (allegedly) at the Carlyle Hotel in NYC after some big music biz function because she wanted to go to sleep and Phil wanted to play which pissed Phil off. Why should he pay for her room? (a few years ago my 85 year old father also got pissed off too when he paid for this lady's trip up to the Catskills for a singles weekend and she wouldn't play - he sued her for his expenses. The People's Court wanted to do the case but Pop didn't want to be on TV Now that would've been a helluva case on TV).

UPCOMING SHOW AT THE MBAR NOV 16, 2008

YouTube - Murray Meyer's Its Criminal
these are excerpts from my show - It's Criminal - getting people off & other legal fantasies, an idiosyncratic travelogue through our criminal justice system
see the entire show - MBAR - Fountain & Vine in Hollywood, 7PM, Sunday, Nov 16, 2008 call the club for reservations - 323 856 0036

phil spector II - talk about a mesheguna

Dorothy Melvin, Joan Rivers manager, testifies about the incident in 1993 when Phillip hit her with a gun and pulled a shotgun on her.  Then Phillip, ever the legal strategist, follows up with a voice message - "call us we'd love to hear from you."   

Phillip wasn't even a boyfriend though she did have a "physical" relationship "on rare occasions" - think the defense lawyer Weinberg once even used the word "sex".  Phillip was "insane" but also a "charmer and "a genious", according to Ms. Melvyn, who seemed very eager to share her experiences as much as she declared loudly how she didn't want to.  

PHIL SPECTOR II - Christmas with Joan Rivers

Phillip and his lawyers wearily stand up when the jury come & go. I can't help but note how hunched over Phillip is - like he's in prayer.  

There's an aura of threadbareness about this trial.  Not well attended - when I get there I thought maybe it had been postponed again.  Phil doesn't even have the same number of bodyguards like at that first trial - now he's down to one skinny guy in a black suit - there were at least four burly guys last year. This is like an off-broadway play that's getting no audience but the producer's have plenty of money so it's going to go on despite the poor box office.  Is there no interest cause Phil's just a famous producer?  That's been theorized by some (actually only Beth Lapides) But I'm not buying it.  What if it was Spielberg?  Or Steve Jobs?  or Warren Buffett? There's something else going on.  This trial is too good for the masses.  Too nuanced.   That's right.  Too nuanced.  I said it and I'll say it again.  

I watched the cross by the defense guy Weinberg (very much with the attitude of "hey we're all adults here) of the ex New York Detective. Tanazzo with a thick New York accent who supposedly heard Phil say something about all women needing a bullet in their head about 10 or was it 20 years ago at a party for Joan Rivers.  A Christmas party yet.   The frustrated Detective when Weinberg presses about the year this happened in -.  "Counselor! (that condescending "counselor" that all cops use everywhere but New York cops do it best)  I worked the Christmas parties okay?"